My final day of hospice volunteer training started with a long safety lecture all about infections and universal precautions on how to prevent them. No joke, my notes on this lecture state, "Please enclose me in a plastic bubble." Most of this lecture could be boiled down to three important words: wash your hands. At the end of the lecture, delivered by a registered nurse, we were treated to a tuberculosis test. Thank God, I didn't react to it, because I've heard dealing with the D.C. Department of Health on this matter is a pain in the arse the likes of which I've never experienced. Yes, that was my chief concern, not testing positive because I might have been exposed to TB.
The second segment focused on legal issues at the end of life, such as advanced directives, appointing a durable power of attorney, and living wills. I learned a surprising statistic: only ten percent of us die suddenly. The rest of us have a slow decline, and are likely to end up in medical situations requiring delicate decisions. I found this unit emotionally difficult, because I think that too many of those situations are game-time calls. I would find it very difficult to lay out my final wishes for a death scenario I can't even begin to imagine. Luckily, you do have the option of signing a statement in an advance directive such as, "I realize I cannot foresee everything that might happen after I can no longer decide for myself. My stated preferences are meant to guide whoever is making decisions on my behalf and my health care providers, but I authorize them to be flexible in applying these statements if they feel that doing so would be in my best interest" (that is from the Maryland Advance Directive, available here). The one immediate point I took away for myself is that I need to ask someone to be my local backup in case my husband wasn't available.
The social worker who gave the presentation on end-of-life legal issues also reminded me of the Five Wishes, a simpler way of letting people know how you'd like medical issues to be handled at the end of your life. This is valid in 40 states and the District of Columbia. Regardless of how you choose to document your end-of-life preferences, please do so, and don't wait until you think it's "time." People die at all ages, sadly.
The last unit of my hospice volunteer training was all about working with patients with dementia. I need to re-read this section of my manual, because my first hospice assignment starting next week will be with three patients with the disease. We were taught not to make demands of dementia patients that they can't handle. For example, it is less taxing on them to ask, "Do you like watching TV?" than to ask, "What is your favorite TV show?" The social worker/nurse emphasized that when working with dementia patients, you're obviously not going to be cultivating long-term relationships (I realize this is relative, since we are discussing hospice) since the patients likely won't remember you week to week. Thus, presence is key. My personal feeling about this is that if I make the life of a dementia patient at all better in the moment, then my visit is a success, so I am not overly bothered by the absence of any lasting connection with me on their part.
Finally, we had paperwork galore to fill out (like permission for the background check), as well as a tutorial about the reports we have to file within three days of seeing our clients. My perception of the 20 hour training was that they did a great job. I loved hearing from the people who do these hospice jobs, and the material was always interesting and felt relevant. I think a piece of me wanted them to do a play-by-play of every scenario you could encounter, because I crave this kind of black-and-white guidance in general. Of course, we all know that life is nuanced. You can't script encounters, and I think the way you get to be "good" at being a hospice volunteer is by doing it. I am eager to start next week and will let you know how it goes.
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I think three words in your post express it best: "Life is nuanced." Presence is key not only to people with dementia, but people in general. I love seeing how your meditation journey is meeting/supporting your volunteer one. You are crafting quite a beautiful life for yourself. :)
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